They Might Be Gannets I'm afraid they're back again by unpopular demand They Might Be Gannets Get them now on Bandcamp Or just leave well alone We're coming home

If you do a Google search On They Might be Giants merch You might be surpised by what they set out in their stall Lots of t-shirts and music - buy 'em But there's plenty more quirky items I think you'll find that this is the best of them all: The blue canary in the outlet by the light switch Reassuringly confirms that all is Right in the tmbg world It's also the name of the second track On the They Might Be Gannets album Diving For Twirls

Spoon bender Uri Geller's East Lothian island is declared officially rat free The bird population had been threatened with predation Now the island's officially rat free The island's called The Lamb and it lies just off North Berwick Uri Geller bought it cos he felt something psychic Now following a succesful community project Lamb Island's officially rat free Hurrah for the community Who found rodent signs in 2020 Dedicated volunteers from the Kayak Club, and RSPB. Uri searched for artefacts relating to the legend of an exiled Egyptian princess Scota's boat is said to have anchored at Lamb Island But Uri's search was not a success Geller said he bought the island cos the legend goes Its mysterious heritage dated back to the pharaohs The Lamb's geography exactly mirrors the BC Layout of the Great Pyramids The kayakers headed out to sea Using CCTV to monitor the rats Birds like guillemots are vulnerable to egg predation from All invasive species Now the island is rat free This vital conservation work is underpinned by the Biosecurity for LIFE project Working with 42 seabird island Special Protection Areas around the UK The Scottish Seabird Centre will continue to protect the international seabird habitats Ensuring The Lamb and other islands are safe and officially free from the rats

Meat Sweats, Meat Sweats A poem by Send Wine Now via the Tripe Marketing Board Here it comes right now After the tripe, a sort of peace Envelopes you, a sweet release Of sadness, making room for hope A robust sole on a slippery slope A surge of warmth in the coldest heart But then, alas, the meat sweats start You brace yourself, they’re coming now Like night of the living dead, but with cows Into your life the meat sweats slide And all you have achieved subsides If you had known of their existence You might have put up some resistance And maybe had a nectarine Or nibbled on an aubergine Or pushed the tripe around your plate Then said that you were running late And made a run for it. But, friends, This pain, it will come to an end Just when it seems that death is nigh A sudden searing offal high Swathes you like a meat embrace A bovine slap across the face Primal, turbulent, impassioned Your inhibitions lie unfastened Raw, like a silverside of beef, You calmly set aside your grief Conclude that tripe is worth the pain And welcome the meat sweats once again

Here’s a reply to the laddies For you know men urnae aw baddies There’s many things that women can do That men cannae Like gie birth while wearing false eyelashes While yer man’s crying like a fanny Ma mammy could use a sandal as a weapon And control the hoose as she made soup Ma daddy couldnae figure oot how to jump through that hoop He tried and he failed but men are great too Daddies and grandas – we aw had a few Who knew the score, who came to the fore When women needed the hauners Now imagine if Burns was alive in these corners If Burns were here in covid times If Burns was still in oor life He’d be giving us all of his rhymes And runnin away fae a wife He’d hate to be woke Haw haw – that’d gie him the boke He’d be in the street wearing a mask He’d be on twitter Taking twits to task He’d ca’ big Boris a bam He’d be using words like ‘bo’ and ‘fam’ He’d have a TikTok dance that went viral He’d get cancelled for using the biro For writin’ doon wurds that upset the burds But he wouldnae care He’d double doon and ca’ them fuds He’d fight wi trolls and call them beasties He’d have to keep explaining the word ‘breasties’ He’d be on telly on a comedy panel Hittin’ them wi all his flannel He’d have a huge following on his YouTube channel Influencers would scowl at his heels And his poems would give us all the feels Facebook would ban him every day As he tried to get oot what he wanted to say The internet would be upended Oh everybody would be offended They’d scream at his words as he tickled the burds And laugh as he shoutit, ‘No hell mended’ Burns would have his ain website Wi a chat room for lassies alone And the snowflakes would shout and scream no doubt Like a pompous wee dug wi a bone But he’d laugh in their face and he’d say, ‘Am no fae this place I’m fae a time when a rose was a rose. You aw hate me now and ye caw me a sow But you’ll need me when ye want ti propose.’ An’ he’s right Burns had foresight Men and wimmen have changed since his day And I’m sure we can see that now But, aw, to be winched by a man Rough in the field Writin’ poems over a plough So let’s all raise our glasses To the lads and the lassies who made Burns’s heart beat so loud

The man with a penis on his arm Lacking sincerity and charm It's such an unpleasant growth The man with a penis on his arm He needs a brain transplant She needs an arse transplant The man with a penis on his arm

You’re not the boss of me now You’re not the boss of me now You’re not the boss of me now, and you’re not so big Life is unfair

It’s closer than it’s ever been And now it’s even closer And now it’s even closer And now it’s even closer It’s closer than it’s ever been And now it’s even closer And now it’s closer still Time is marching on And time is still marching on It’s likelier than it ever was And now it is more likely And now it is more likely And now it is more likely It’s likelier than it’s ever been And now it is more likely And now it’s likelier Indy Ref 2

What's in my selection box - show me Choc choc choc choc choc choc chocs - feed me Mars Bar, Snickers, Twirl, Bounty Twix, Kit Kat and Crunchie Sugar rush all over me This is very christmassy What's in my selection box - show me Choc choc choc choc choc choc chocs - feed me What's in my selection box - show me Choc choc choc choc choc choc chocs - feed me I'm a calorie junkie Is the dentist open Boxing Day? As a great philanderer once said I want to be selected What's in my selection box - show me Choc choc choc choc choc choc chocs - feed me Alice Cooper called it right when he Wrote Unfinished Sweet - you complete me

Something got a hold of my hand I didn’t know what held my hand But that’s when all my troubles began I am really easily led Especially to trouble To trouble, to trouble I follow if you are Fred I’m Barney,that’s Rubble. already in trouble Don’t waste time, you’re a long time dead You love how you live and you live how you love her That is what the voices said The ones that are dragging me under the covers I could blame the fickle fist of fate I could pin life on anyone I hate But there is something else out there……wait

Gab on Gab on to everybody Let's gab on to everybody Let's gab on Let's gab on Gab on Gab on Gab on Gab on to everybody Please gab away Gab on Gab on